Image Grenade

I was at a yoga/healing thing over the weekend where we having a discussion regarding relaxation process that allow Chi to flow more fully in the body. The leader was trying to convince me that in order to realize the maximum benefits of Chi, I needed to relax. Yup, nice idea, but Miss Danni don’t do relaxed. When the alarm first goes off at 4:45 am, I begin my rude entry into consciousness. Once I’ve managed to unroll myself from the fetal position and rip myself from the womb like warmth of my bed, I’m jettisoned into the cold cruel world with barely a chance to swallow vitamins, slurp a coffee before I’m on my bike. (and I mean literally, an not just the British vernacular) I’m in the office before 6:30 and the constant rush that is my day is now at full throttle. I rush to complete work. I rush to the gym. I rush back to the office completing more work before I rush home. If Chi wants to flow in me, it better keep up because I don’t slow down, but hey, it works for me. I stress out most when I fear things aren’t getting done, so the faster I go, the more I accomplish, the less I actually feel stressed, and I suppose, that’s as closed to relaxed as I get. I mean even on the average Saturday, I can clean a house, get groceries in, have lunch ready for the husband, get three loads of laundry done all between keeping an eye on the Chelsea match and uploading seven outfits on ebay. Or course by 8 pm, I’m completely knocked out. But even that has an upside. With the pace I keep, I never have insomnia. Ah, but lest I think I’ve won the war, stress has etched it’s own battle lines. They can be found in the horizontal and ever deepening furrows in my brow. But I’m not giving up, or giving in. Let others age gracefully, as for me, I’m fighting it tooth and nail, with exercise, a proper diet, moisturizers, sunscreen and the latest weapon in my arsenal, a good PROFESSIONSAL chemical peel Now before you think I’ve become Bette Davis’s rendition of Mrs. Skeffington, obsessed with her own beauty, I’m not. I’m very realistic about my looks and I don’t rate much higher than cute. Besides, I don’t mind getting older. I’m comfortable with who I am, and old enough to know I don’t know everything so I’m still reading, studying and learning. And one of the things I’ve learned is that growing older doesn’t mean you have to look as if your body was ravaged by time. So after much reading, debate I’m biting the bullet and I’m in the process of achieving a look of serenity that belies the maelstrom that brews beneath my surface.. So what does it entail. Well first was finding a good professional. I didn’t want to rely on a spa, because who knows what other work I’ll consider in the future. By using a good, licensed Dermatologist you have access not only to procedures for cosmetic enhancement, but prescribed treatments to heal the skin. Since I haven’t seen a dermatologist since high school, I began publicly discussing my desires and a mate from the gym recommended Dr. Susan Brown of Society Hill Dermatology www.societyhilldermatology.com. Dr. Brown, as it turned out, is the preeminent dermatologist for “skin of color”, so I felt like I’d won the lottery to find her centrally located in Center City Philadelphia. After an initial consult, just to see what the professionals would recommended, it was they suggested that I have a series of chemical peels to refresh my skin, follow up home care with Dr. Taylor’s skincare line Brown Skin, which helps clear and even out skin tone, and then eventually I could explore the possibility of, drum roll please…..Botox® and Restalyne®. Since I decided to start at the lowest and minimally invasive end of the spectrum, I made my first appointment with the staff Esthetician, Vivianne Aries for a chemical peel. Since my skin tends to be sensitive, I worried that the peel would burn. And it did; but no where near as much as I imagined. And since I turn red at the drop of a hat, I was extremely surprised that once the entire process was finished, my skin looked smoother, clearer and completely free of redness or irritation. I know this is the beginning of a longer process, but I’m already feeling much more positive and while it’s not cheap (costs were $150 for the peel plus $30 for after peel maintenance kit) my pores, which were the size of craters look fantastic, my face feels like silk now that those niggling, just under the skin black heads are gone and without those remaining spots from pimples gone by removed, I actually found myself going out with a light tinted moisturizer as opposed to primer and heavy foundation. And after only the first treatment, I think it was worth the price of admission. Now the only problem is I’m going to develop wrinkles in other places from smiling so much. It’s a small price to pay for such a healthy glow.

Have you ever done something stupid and think your nearest and dearest hate you? Perhaps it was something that you said that was taken out of context. Maybe you had that one drink to many and without thinking about it said or did something that you didn’t give a second thought about, until a friend recounts the tale to you later. Or Jane, who has secretly never liked you has begun a vile campaign against you. What do you do?

In a world where image is becoming everything, here’s what you don’t do.

You don’t go on television, complain that the press is harassing and shriek like some deranged fishwife claiming to be the most vilified person since Cruella DeVille tried to make a fashion statement with the skins of 101 Dalmations.

Enter Heather Mills McCartney.

Despite spending years campaigning against land mines, and for organizations supporting the disabled and antivivisection, she’s best known for marrying and now, rather nastily divorcing that erstwhile Beatle, Sir Paul McCartney.

Sure, some people didn’t think she was an appropriate choice for Paul, including his daughter Stella, but after losing the love of his life, Linda, anyone who tried to replace her, would have come up against some fierce criticism. For most people, I don’t reckon the demise of the marriage was a big surprise. More surprising may have been her meltdown on GMTV Today last week. She went on and on about threats made against her life, and how she’d entertained thoughts of suicide after reading the malicious lies told by the press and claiming she was more hated than a pedophile.

What’s done is done and I can’t advise Heather but I can give you a few tips to avoid becoming the car wreck that was the GMTV interview, that now lives and procreates on YouTube.

1. Keep Schtum. No one likes a whiner, especially when you’re more than financially comfortable and spent a long time courting the media. This is especially true when you marry a prominent person, who’s deceased wife was down to earth and incredibly personable. Whatever you say, to anyone, will get twisted should it get out, so it’s best not to address the issue at all.
2. If you are getting death threats or are being stalked, take copious notes about the location, time and dates and let the police handle it. Moaning about someone being after you, makes you appear desperate for attention and if there wasn’t some nut already after you, you’ve given at least four more a scathingly brilliant idea.
3. Do not go out. Complete sequestering is advised. In this day and age you can order groceries on line, have wine delivered to your door and shop on the net or on QVC. Don’t even go to the door. If there are paparazzi out to get a picture, you certainly don’t make it easier for them.
4. Follow the ten day rule. If you can successfully sequester for ten days, avoiding all people connected with the incident, the world will have moved on, Brittany will have done something new and completely boneheaded, or unless the audience is bereft of any real life of their own, something else will simply occupy the space.
5. When it is time to reemerge, look fabulous!! Make sure you’re seen with nails polished, hair did and skin glowing to give the appearance that none of this really bothered you at all. When anyone refers to the incident, cock your head to the side and flash a mega watt smile.

Finally, don’t let fear define your world. Most things are far worse in our own imaginations than they are in reality. My mother told me that, and truer words were never spoken.