Image Grenade

 Have you been waiting for a proposal that doesn’t come? Do you want to know if dreams of a future together are shared by your man? Well today February 29th is the only for the next four years that you’ll be able to propose.

If you guys don’t like it, blame St. Patrick.

According to the folk tradition, in the 4th and 5th centuries, following a religious calling didn’t exactly require a vow of celibacy, so some of the nuns began discussing the inequity of only men being allowed to ask their love to marry. St. Patrick, who was at that point just hanging around Ireland, having driven the snakes out of the country, came upon a distraught St. Brigid of Kildare who was bemoaning the state of discontent in her nunnery. A forward thinking St. Patrick aimed to rectify the situation by allowing the women to propose every seven years. St. Brigid thanked him but admitted that she didn’t think the nuns would be too pleased at having to wait seven years for the opportunity. St. Patrick  relented, allowing the practice once every four years.

St. Brigid, not allowing any grass to grow under her feet, immediately proposed to St. Patrick who refused, as he did opt for a vow of celebacy, but expressed his flattered appreciation, by presenting her with a silk gown and a kiss as consolation prizes.

 As the tradition spread, it became standard practice that any man who refused a proposal had to emulate St. Patrick with the aforementioned kiss and gift, but I’m not quite sure how a pair of gloves became an option to the silk gown. By 1288 Scottish Parliament enacted the Female Wooing law allowing women of both lowly and nobel birth to propose.

So if you’re ready to take the plunge ladies, now’s your chance. After all, in Scotland it’s the law. 

And if he rejects your offer, remember you can console yourself in the bottom of a pint glass as that other famous event bearing the name of St. Patrick, happens in less than three weeks.

 Once upon a time, I could use anything on my skin. I would steam my face, prod at my rather large pores until all manner of goop was extracted. I could wash with Noxema in nearly scalding water and then voraciously wipe my face with Sea Breeze, followed by a series of laps around my bedroom until the resulting sting dissipated. Now, after Botox, four glycolic peels and several days of harsh, body searing winds, I find my natural beauty being stripped off, like scales on a rather large carp. Fortunately, I have the wisdom of a trained esthetician, Viviane Aires who turned me on to the perfect treatment when my usually calm skin stages a violent rebellion. My saving grace is Eau Thermale Avéne Cream for Intolerant Skin. I was first introduced to this as a kit which contained three small tubesof the cream, Gentle Cleanser For Intolerant Skin and Avéne Thermal Spring Water. After each scheduled professional glycolic acid peel I was encouraged to use the cleanser, tissue off, spray my skin with the thermal water, and follow with the cream for the first three days after having a peel. By using the products as directed, I prevent the inevitable peeling that occurs after treatment from becoming overly problematic as it gently soothes, moisturizes and ameliorates redness from my traumatized skin. With the recent snap of cold weather and my skin’s reaction to it, I found myself turning to Avéne in lieu of my regular cleaners and moisturizers, in an effort to quell my facial distress.While Avéne  is new to the US, the  Avéne Dermatological Hydrotherapy Center in France, has treated sensitive skin and other skin disorders for over two centuries and have created products all based around their thermal spring water. As with most women, I don’t really need to analyze and memorize the list of ingredients in a product. When my cheeks have more flakes than Philly has seen all winter, I just want to know if the stuff works. And brother, if you’d seen the crackled parchment I was calling a face two days ago versus now, you’d know calling this line an absolute miracle, is by no means hyperbole.  For full information about the complete line, retailers and physicians who carry the product visit www.aveneusa.com. A large portion of the line is also available at www.drugstore.com.

My stretched ear holes are the result of a misspent youth when anything could be an earring. I wore earrings that were too heavy, specially created earrings constructed of pink plastic babies impaled on fishhooks, a large unicorn tie tack, and of course, the ubiquitous albeit erstwhile safety pin. These days, I can’t even look at shoulder grazing chandelier earrings without visions of misshapen ear lobes ruining the mere thought. Until now. Earlifts are an almost invisible circle that you place behind your earlobe and then insert your earring through the hole. This circle hypoallergenic material, redistributes the weight of the earring as not to pull down on what I’m assuming by this age, is stretched out skin. Since this is a new product, I haven’t yet found it floating around the shops but it is available from their website www.earlifts.com, Box of 60 for $10,  or there are some floating around on ebay, just make sure to get the original new in box variety and not the unpackaged ear tape that may not achieve the desired results.

If you think Philly’s alternative scene begins and ends with our annual Fringe festival, then keep March 29th open for CatWalk Tragedy 4. CatWalk Tragedy is Philly’s most infamous, alternative beauty pageant. I think the models are practicing their best Zoolander poses even as we speak.  The show is comprised of four rounds of judging. The first two rounds will judge how the models wear offerings from Sourpuss Clothing and corsets from atelier of Delicious. Round three is a free for all where models dress to impress and with a group of crazy and alternative freaks and fetishists, Lord knows what they will, and most probably, won’t be wearing. There’s also a round for Mr. Catwalk, judging the hottest males in the Alt Fashion world. Yup kiddies, is a runway showdown. The host will be the renowned MC and performer, Voltaire with Mighty Mike Saga DJing and a special performance by Rag Tag Elite. So if you’re looking for fresh entertainment on a Saturday night, be at the New Alahambra Arena for this must see event.

CatWalk Tragedy 4: (WWW.MYSPACE.COM/CATWALKTRAGEDY4) Saturday March 29th, Doors open at 7 pm. Tickets are $10 in advance and $12 at the door. New Alahambra Arena (WWW.NEWALAHAMBRA.COM ) 7 W. Ritner (Corner of Swanson & Ritner St.) Philadelphia, PA 19148

When it comes to eating out, I like my eateries to have ambiance, good food and a relaxing atmosphere. All of those things were available at Divan Turkish Kitchen (22nd and Carpenter.) But we also got something else, the bums rush after dinner.

When my friends Sandra and Patricia wanted to meet for dinner, we immediately agreed as it was also our 17th anniversary, which was a good excuse to have a festive dinner out. After hearing good things about Divan, my husband suggested that we go, so I made reservations for 7 pm. When we arrived, our mates had already been seated and ordered a bottles of red and white Turkish wine. The service was impeccable and the place absolutely charming considering it’s location on the border of regentrifying neighborhood.

While the food was spicier than anything we enjoyed in our travels through Turkey, it was tasty and well cooked, albeit a bit pricey for what it was. For example the mixed appetizer platter which in other middle eastern venues runs between $9-$12 was $20. While Divan offers a selection of Turkish wines and Efes beer, they advertiser themselves as a BYOB and I saw many patrons brining bottles with them but if you thought you were saving money by bringing your wine, you may have been surprised by the $10 per bottle corking fee which

All in all the restaurant had many things I enjoyed but there was one thing that so overwhelmed the positives of this place that I’ll never go back.
What was the huge faux pas?

Well it started when we asked the waiter to call us a cab. He told us it would take about 10 minutes. Having vast experience with taxi dispatchers, I knew that was highly unlikely, so we relaxed as we finished our wine. When the cab hadn’t come after 20 minutes however, we were not perturbed, but the manager was.

She began yelling at the waiter, then came to our table and explained that we had been misled about the time it took to get a cab. I encouraged her to breathe and remain calm as we weren’t bothered by the delay, but she then began squealing about needing to free up the table, which I didn’t understand, as there was no line of waiting guests and the table behind us was empty.

As she flitted around wringing her hands and making such a mountain out of a molehill, my husband and I left the restaurant; he in an attempt to flag down a cab, and me to get away from the harpy. Once we found a cab, I went back to the restaurant to retrieve our dinner companions, but getting the bums rush after spending $250 for dinner, has to go down as the rudest, most unfriendly treatment I’ve ever received at a restaurant, bar none. We enjoyed the remainder of the evening anyway, but you could see how such an incident could easily dampen even the highest of spirits.

As my mother says, we learn by doing, but when I have a hankering for Turkish food again, I’m headed for the warm and welcoming, Konak at 228 Vine Street.

Baby it’s cold outside. That tends to happen in winter. What’s surprising to me is how, in an effort to keep warm, people emerge from their homes looking like Ellis Island refugees, wearing nearly all of their wardrobe, or Biv the Michelin man. It’s not like winter is a new thing. It happens every year. So why don’t people prepare? Style is not limited to what’s worn under the coat. Style involves the entire package, so here are some ideas of how to look incredibly hot, when it’s bloody well freezin’!

Underpinnings
When it’s cold outside, layer inside. If you want warmth without bulk, the new generation of thermal underwear has evolved from the waffle weaved stuff of yore to lighter and smoother creations in microfiber. Two of my favorites are Cuddl Duds® and Under Amour® (both available at www.amazon.com). These thin insulating layers fit easily under jeans or snug tops for warmth without the bulk. When it’s cold enough to wear long sleeved tops and sweaters or blazers, a thermal shirt or camisole will keep your upper body warm while helping you retain a sleek look. And if you’re wearing a long skirt and boots, Cuddl Duds Skinsation® long pant, can be worn instead of hosiery and no one will be the wiser.  A proper coat.
I believe everyone should have at least three coats for winter. A trench coat, preferably with a zip-in liner; an every day coat and a dressier coat that adds a bit more polish for dinners out, business meetings or church.If you’re bold enough to wear color, do it. I love my red trench and it brightens the ugliest of rainy days but you have to be confident to wear such a bright statement. My every day coat is a large vintage black wool that is ankle length. The length is important especially in bad weather when you need your legs and or trousers covered from the elements. While your coat should fit you and have clean lines, it should have enough room to easily accommodate a thick sweater or blazer underneath without fear of looking like a stiff snow suited child who can’t lower his arms. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, sacrifice style and fit for warmth. That’s what the masses do, and look where that’s gotten them. Two words: Down Coat! UGGH!!Once you’ve made a  purchase, make sure to periodically assess yourself in that coat. As we age, our bodies change and things that once fit our shape, can change dramatically and rather suddenly. A critical eye can tell you when you need to upgrade. That applies to the condition of the coat as well. Several years ago I purchased a vintage gray mohair dress coat with an immense blue fox fur collar. After much searching on ebay, I found a Saga blue fox hat to match. The problem is after extended wear, especially with vintage items, they begin to show their age. Since mohair is a long angora goat hair, after time, it can look lrather logy. I recently caught a glimpse of myself in a picture window and was stunned when the fuzzy love child of Cookie Monster and Amy Winehouse looked back at me. I sighed thinking, “This is what happens when Muppets go bad.” I replaced it with another vintage coat, but this time shunned mohair for a black wool, A-line coat with sable collar. The lesson, which I pass on to you, is get a full length mirror and take a good hard look at yourself before you leave the house. Remember, whether dressing for winter or any season, if what you’re wearing looks less than stellar, or makes you feel uncomfortable, admit that you’ve made a poor choice (or in my case, a ghastly error) correct it, and move on.Hats, Socks, Scarves and Gloves
According to my mother, and backed up by Ask Yahoo!, up to 75% of your body heat can be lost through your head and the soles of your feet. It is imperative when it’s dangerously cold that you wear proper socks and a hat.Hats
I’ve heard it a million times. “I don’t wear hats. I get hat hair.” or “I don’t look good in hats.” Okay, if you want to look like a complete ass with wet stringy hair, go hatless. While it’s true, not everyone is suited to be a milliner’s muse, everyone should have at least one well fitting hat to wear on such occasions. I’m not a fan of the Ali McGraw knitted cap that became the rage after Love Story hit cinemas, but in an emergency, it beats a blank. A better choice is a beret which works for most people. For the best look, try and match the hat to your coat. For example, for my everyday trench styled wool coat, I chose a black suede hat with a wide faux fur brim. It keeps my head warm and when paired with the coat looks vaguely Russian, in a militaristic way. I also purchased a waterproof fedora for that film noir private eye look.Socks
Because my boots are well insulated, I really haven’t had much of a need for thermal socks but my husband the butcher is an authority. As a man who spends his days going in and out of meat freezers, he wears them daily and his choice is The Original 30 Below Sock. (www.vermontcountrystore.com) At around $14.00 a pair, they not cheap, but compared to lesser thermals, these have a wicking ability to keep feet warm and dry and they are incredibly durable, as the first pairs I purchased for him five years ago still emerge from the drier, un-shrunken and without a hole in sight.Scarves
I’m a big scarf person. Maybe I’ve just been so impressed by French women who seem to take an ordinary outfit and with the addition of a mere square of silk, morph into fabulous. If you want to look stylish, then leave the extra long, stripy, knitted scarves to Tom Baker’s iconic rendition of Dr. Who. For best results, get a long thinner scarf of cotton/poly, or wool and wear around your neck, then button your coat so only a hint of color or pattern is visible. If your coat does not button at the top, sew on a heavy duty snap. A scarf tied around the outside of your coat at the neck leaves gaps of skin (unless you’re wearing a turtle or polo neck) and looks as if you’re doing a scarf ad for GAP.Gloves
I bet you’re thinking; “Geez, Danni what’s there to know about gloves. You put them on. right?”
Yes you do, but to keep warm, you’ve got to pick the right pair. We are talking gloves here, not mittens. I don’t care that mittens keep you’re hands warm by using the heat of your other fingers to warm you, have you ever seen a CEO wearing mittens? Gloves are for adults and for the stylish adult we’re talking leather or Isotoner type driving gloves. not magic furry gloves. While I personally prefer a lined glove for warmth, they can make it difficult to pick up things. Also leather is not for all conditions. If you need hand coverage in wet conditions, eel skin is more durable and water resistant. Try on several sizes and pick what fits and looks best. If you like a leather glove but it’s unlined, you can find glove liners to provide warmth. (www.wintersilks.com) If you’ve made sedate color choices in coats and hats, accessories like scarves and gloves are a great place to add a jolt of color. I searched ages before finding hot pink leather gloves to match a pink scarf. If you do pick leather, remember to spray them with a protectant like 3M Scotch Guard ® or Kiwi Leather Protector® which will protect your gloves and ad a touch of waterproofing. And remember if your gloves do become wet, never, ever dry them near a radiator or heating register as this is damaging to the leather.  Now with sleek coat, insulated layers, and a stylish lid, go forth and look cool when it’s cold.  

If you leaf through any health and beauty magazine, you’re bound to see loads of ads promising everything from a brighter smile to smoother heels. Unfortunately the market expands at an astounding rate, and unless you’re privileged enough to review them for a magazine, you couldn’t possibly sample them all without a substantial withdraw from your trust fund. But I’ve found a way to get the most coveted items in deluxe sized and sometimes full sized samples without ever leaving home.

The Test Tube is a fabulous try before you buy program that will send you a large tube filled with products four times a year. The cost is $29.95 plus $8.95 shipping (via Fed X) and you can cancel your subscription at any time. For that price, which is essentially the cost of a quality foundation, you get a myriad of high end samples that you can evaluate in your own home. This month’s tube included a lovely mini bottle of Viktor and Rolf Flowerbomb, a fuill sized tube of Supersmile whitening toothpaste, Dr. Brandt Crease Release, as well as a full sized Colorescience lip pencil just to name a few. The best thing is it allows you to sample, share and make an informed decision before you plunk down your hard earned sheckles to purchase the full sized products, which in the case of the anti-wrinkle creams, can easily top one hundred bucks. The products are great, the deal is fab and I love that giddy little girl playing make-up feeling I get upon arrival of each new tube. For me, that alone is worth the $29.95.
Test Tube http://testtube.newbeauty.com

Yesterday Vanessa Feltz on  BBC London, posed the question, would you wear vintage fur?

This was not a debate on whether or not to kill animals for their pelts, but specifically aimed at those who either purchased or inherited vintage fur, and the musing, does it make it better if the animal has been quite long dead.

It seems that a recent cold blast in NYLON land has resulted in a plethora of A-listers swathing themselves in vintage furs (which in some cases can cost more than a recently models.) While some worried that any new trend that promotes fur will result in more animals being slaughtered, there were others who recognized that vintage fur may be, in fact, a very green solution. 

I can see both sides of the coin. While I own several vintage coats with massive mink and fox collars, I wasn’t exactly comfortable with the footage of cows being abused by Hallmark, resulting in the largest recall of ground beef in US history. But while I avert my eyes at the sight of cows being prodded with a forklift to stand, am I ready to give up my furs? My answer is a resounding no.

I understand there are those who will not wear fur in London because of the general aggro they receive by passers-by who seem to think an anti-vivisection commentary is warranted. And there are still the more militant out there who are not opposed to paint flinging. But if you don’t wear it, exactly how should one dispose of it? In the past few years, many charity shops have instituted a policy not to accept donated furs, and the people that are willing to accept them, (usually Portobello Road market traders) will gladly accept them, but only to line their own pockets from sales to tourists from the US and Europe who will gladly pay top dollar for old world craftsmanship of a talented furrier. And if you decide to just toss it out, aren’t you contributing to the problem. Isn’t it being more green to wear your Nan’s old pelts? Surely making use of the old is doing your bit for recycling? 

As for me, with global warming, this is the first time in four years when it’s actually been cold enough to bring out my furs. When I do, I tend to rely on one of my wool coats with fur collar. It’s not that I’m afraid of confrontation, but just a smackeral of fur give me just enough polish for going out, without appearing to OTT for work. And when it gets really cold, there’s really nothing like the warmth of fur around my neck for that comforting snuggly feeling, even if I’m waiting for the bus.

Maybe fur’s not for everyone but about five years ago I searched long and hard before I found the coat of my dreams on ebay; a 40s era gold coast monkey fur. It’s a stroller with long straight black hair that often begs the question, what is it?, from people whose outstretched hands are already petting me. Since it’s not a common fur, and it looks so otherworldly, most people believe it’s fake, until they touch it.

Does wearing fur make me a bad person. I think not! I’m no hypocrite. I eat meat, wear leather and fur and as the daughter of a hunter, I’ve skinned and disemboweled a number of small animals including squirrels and rabbits. That hasn’t stopped me from carrying peanuts in the pocket of virtually every coat I own, to feed the squirrels in the park. It also didn’t stop me from loving my own pet bunny, Sam. It does however make me unapologetic. Everything has a life cycle, and I prefer to believe my monkey had a full life before someone used him for my coat. And while some may wince at the comment, it’s to die for, you should be so lucky to be this useful, and this lovely after being dead for 60 years.

Bopping around my neighborhood the other day I noticed Michael’s, a restaurant at which I’d previously dined and lived to tell the tale, had changed hands. In place of the pretentious wannabe haute cuisine joint, that nearly killed me with a crab cake with more shell and cartilage than the original crustacean, had emerged James. When I peaked in the window I observed a gorgeous interior of well shined dark wood tables and cream colored suede banquette, which sparkled with simple elegance and made a mental note to stop for dinner soon, since it’s in my neighborhood. The following day, I received a call from friends who are meeting us for dinner next weekend, asking if we’d decided on a venue yet. When I couldn’t pull an immediate answer from the air, she coincidentally suggested James.

She had heard lovely things about their pasta, fish and cocktails and since they’re not in town often enough, living and working in Jersey, I immediately agreed. A bit later she called me and told me there were no reservations to be had on a Saturday night. It seems booking a week ahead, wasn’t early enough.

After a bit of online research, I discovered why. Chef Jim Burke formerly of Angelina has received great reviews as early as last April from Philadelphia Weekly and as recently as January 13th in the Philadelphia Inquirer. Philadelphia Magazine also included them in their pick of the 50 Best Restaurants in the area while Food and Wine waxed poetically about the Risotto Alla Kristina (named after Burke’s wife whose love of both oysters and Prosecco served as the inspiration for the dish) in the December 2007 issue. Another thing that I find incredibly appealing is menu that reflects the seasonal availability of locally sourced meat and veg. After visiting the website and drooling over such offerings as langostino tempura, and finding intrigue in the opportunity to enjoy the chef’s tasting with wine pairings, I will be visiting soon, but as I live in the neighborhood, I’m sure it will be early in the week when an empty table is easier to come by.
James; www.jameson8th.com; 824 S. 8th Street, Philadelphia, PA 19147 p: 215.629.4980 f: 215.629.4983

WATER, dries up

 I suppose it had to happen. After all, it was convenient, friendly and far less expensive than treatments at other high end salons, but alas, Water Unlimited, 1114  Pine Street is no more. I sensed that something was amiss before Christmas ,when they were no longer selling gift certificates and when I made my last appointment before going to London for the New Year and they were “closing for the holiday”. When I returned and called to make an appointment there was no further information on the number, and the website had been dismantled. I’m incredibly disappointed and wonder if I’ll ever find Martha, Queen of eyebrows again. I know her lovely and talented manicurist Wendi is now at Norstrom’s selling the fine toiletries of Christian Dior, but it’s such a shame to see those with an incredible talent for calming, soothing and primping ladies have been forced into other arenas.

DRACULA’S XL BALL

I wish I could tell you what passes for late night haps in this town, but the truth is, I’m an early riser and with schedules that include more personal (some would say loftier)pursuits, two-a-day work outs and a full time job, the old hub and I just don’t get out for many late nights. We do make a point for the ball. This, 40th outing for the Dracula’s Ball which is really more of a gathering of the weird and wonderful fueled by a lot of black clothing, techno goth music and yes, cocktails a plenty was held Saturday February 16th at Shampoo 7th and Willow Streets. While well attended, this one, was no were near as packed as the freak fest that was Halloween, but since my husband took Sunday off from work and for me, Monday meant a President’s Day holiday, it worked. One of the great things about Dracula’s Ball  is both the creator of the ball and a large group of attendees are 35+ and in many cases(mine included),++. You could discern the more seasoned among us. While we were mostly, in Victorian/Edwardian Vampire attire like people who made the effort to get dressed and go out, the kids do what youth does best, slap it on and head out; with many guys donning the uniform of either emo t-shirt  and jeans, or something black and their chicks opted for skank wear or lower end K-mart corset devoid of the boning, hooks and lacing best left for us veterans of the beauty = pain school.

The majority of our set were well coifed, suited and booted in outfits as varied as a custom made purple leather corset to a full mourning outfit with a sprinkle of ostrich feather full veil and bustle to a man with a brown top hat and brown cape. You heard me! Now when was the last time you saw a man in a cape? In Philly? When  you want to get dressed up, hang out with a different caliber of folks and allow those poor working stiff eyes feast on a plethora of color and drama, Dracula’s Ball is the best $16 you can spend on a night out, and I finally managed to find a guy to make custom dental quality prosthetic fangs. With any luck, Jordan and I will have a set before the next ball, as they occur about four times a year. (I think the next one will be around Memorial Day. )That should give me plenty of time to get fangs, a new outfit and some chicken fillets, which as I discovered are sorely needed if I want anything up from my push up bra. For info on the next Dracula’s Ball visit their website at www.draculasball.com.