Image Grenade

The longer you study fashion, the more you’ll notice the return of certain themes. I’ve seen the return of the 1950s secretarial pool staple, the pencil skirt; the return of 80s neon and the return of Adam Ant’s Prince Charming wardrobe, which was a remake of the post Victorian Dandy.

The one return I’ll not embrace is the look straight off the cat walk, the invisible eyebrow.

As a woman who plucks a brow with the fervor and persistence that can only be appreciated by gardeners of topiary and bonsai; I adore a well manicured brow.

A neat brow opens the eye.  A substantial arch can make your eyes appear younger. A dark and groomed brow conveys a no nonsense respectibility. Thick Brezhnev brows appear unweildly and unkempt on a man, and when gracing a woman, the hirsute accessory can be so distracting as to nullify any sparkle her eyes may posess and render the most fabulous outfit, hair and make-up, null and void. And a heavy brow with no line of demarcation above the nose, a.k.a. the Monobrow, will inevitably lead to derisive remarks.

A face, sans brow, however appears one dimensional and often ghostly (or is that ghastly).

While going browless may work on the runway, where makeup artists work to provide a cohesive look for an entire collection, the use of it in several highly touted runway shows,  will soon see this look trickling out to the street, as poor misguided Fashion Week devotees see this as a unique look they wish to make their own.

Pish and tosh, I say.

Eyebrows are necessary for expression. One of the reasons I decided not to endure Botox for a second time was the inability to raise a brow in a cheeky gesture or use them to as a non verbal cue to express displeasure. Powdering them into oblivion, or removing them altogether would be the mistake made by only the incredibly naive follower of fashion who seeks to shock, to see and be seen, without regard to how well she looks.

If your eyes are the portals to the soul, they should be treated like works of art and framed in a way that enhancesnot detracts. I mean, I realize that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, but if I’m going for a stunning look, Whoopee Goldberg, a long time purveyor of the bald brow, is not the fashion icon to which I aspire.

So brush up, pencil or powder in, or dial for an appointment to have your brows waxed, dyed, plucked or threaded. If anyone suggests you remove them, leave immediately and watch the scene from Pink Floyd’s, The Wall where Bob Geldof removes his brows (and several layers of skin) until the urge passes.

Going browless is akin to going braless. No one notices when a correct one is worn, but when it’s not there, the whole world stares with mouth agog.