Seven Deadly Style Sins
1. Apporting Animal.
If you over 35, cutesy wootsy animals on your clothing just doesn’t work. While I’m not saying you should never own a piece, keep the number of items to a minimum (3 or less) and seriously consider the situation in which you would find wearing, horses, sheep, or puppies appropriate.
If you work in close and constant contact with children; teacher, pediatric nurse etc., then you can make a valid case for it. If you work in a business situation, JUST DON’T DO IT. IT THWARTS YOUR AUTHORITY. VPs do not wear fuzzy bunny sweaters to the office. If you simply must, make sure the styling of the article is so hot or the pattern so innocuous, that the appearance of the animal is mitigated. I have a fabulous hot pink sweater embellished with SHAG-esque kitties with rhinestone collars. One makes a statement. Ten makes for a wardrobe that only Jeanne Bice of the Quacker Factory would approve. Better still, reserve your predilection for animals to pajamas and bathrobes so you can enjoy in the privacy of your own home.
2. No Horizontal Stripes EVER!!
I’m in better shape now than I was 20 years ago but I’m still not stupid enough to wear a horizontal stripe. I don’t care if Vogue is touting it and designers are virtually pushing them through your mail box, on changing and aging bodies the stripe widens you at the worst possible points. If you find yourself reaching for a horizontal stripe, because you like the color or the neckline, remember Pugsly Adams? Trust me, you won’t look much better.
3. Tunics.
If you have hips, thighs or an ass that you want to hide, don’t try a tunic. You might as well put your stuff under a sheet emblazoned with a large arrow and the words, “TRYING DESPERATELY TO HIDE MY HIPS, THIGHS AND ASS”. You know what makes old ladies look old; wearing shapeless, stretchy, unfitted stuff with elastic waist bands. You are not David Copperfield and covering it loosely will not make it disappear.
4. Underestimating the Power of a Foundation Garment
In my formative years, I hawked lingerie. Not just lingerie, but hard core bras, boned corsets, and girdles with high waists and long legs. If you have a figure flaw, I encourage you to take full advantage of underpinnings. Many of you think they’re uncomfortable. Some can be, but technology and the invention of spandex (Thank you, Lord) has revolutionized foundation garments. There are lightweight items like SPANX which will hold you in without binding you and for those of you who worry about sex appeal, there are many lacy sexy options. Besides, your potential mate, partner, scrump doggie will usually see you in clothing first. If you look great while wearing that skirt (e.g. no lumps, bumps, overhanging bra back fat) you can always take it off and turn off the lights when you get lucky.
5. Absence of Sunscreen.
I learned from Joan Collins years ago that one of the ways to keep aging at bay was to simply wear sunscreen all the time. Whether you’re skin is deep mahogany or so ice white that you can virtually see the veins underneath everyone needs SPF. While the palest of us seemed to have gotten the message, woman of color have been a little slow on the uptake and it’s at the peril of your own skin. Even if you have a natural olive complexion, fine lines will multiple with astonishing quickness without regular use of SPF. I make sure it’s in every moisturizing lotion, face cream and make-up I own, and if you’re smart, you’ll do the same. Yes, we’re all gonna age, but at 43, I have a few crinkles where 35 year old friends who have not been so adamant about SPF usage are sporting deep wrinkles.
6. Failure to Moisturize.
I moisturize every day. My foundation du jour is Kiehl’s Tinted moisturizer in dark. It’s got an SPF of 15. I also remove make-up and slather on eyecream and face and neck moisturizers before turning into bed. And moisturizing doesn’t just begin and end with topical treatments. You should drink water. LOTS OF WATER!! By the time I make my daily pilgrimage to the gym at noon, I’ve had, on average a gallon of water. That’s only the beginning. I drink home made decaf iced tea by the pint, insuring that I’m super hydrated. Not only does this keep you from mistaking thirst for hunger, it insures that your skin stays soft and doesn’t resemble the mottled and cracked surface of the Mojave desert.
7. Refusing to Acknowledge and Accept
In order to be the best you can at this age, you have to have a critical eye. You need to take a hard and often brutal look at your body. Once you take an assessment of the negatives, and more importantly the positives, you can then design a course of action whether that’s abandoning a certain type of dress (I eschew boatnecks) or opting for strategic camouflage, (I never wear a skirt that ends exactly at my pudgy knees).
Most of all remember that although being this age entitles us to care less about what other people think, caring less does not equate with careless dressing. I know who I am and I’m not apologizing or diminishing it for anyone. And although I’m not classically beautiful, I know there is power in being styling and well dressed. I’ve found myself receiving better treatment and taken more seriously than similarly aged counterparts who don’t take as much care in the way they are sartorially presented. You can call me vain if you want, but I know from whence I speak, and until we all get to the place where we are judged by the content of our character, I’ll be the chic at the British Air counter getting the upgrade.